Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Academic Infidelity

I feel like I have a mistress. I am married to Sociology. This is the major I have chosen, the major I have gone through college with, telling everyone I love and care for. I've put so much time into my marriage with Sociology (time, but not really a whole lot of effort) that I don't want to quit now. But I've fallen out of love with Sociology. I'm not even sure I ever loved her to begin with.

Internet, please don't tell Sociology, but I've been seeing someone else, almost from the very beginning. I love English. I love English so much more than Sociology. When I have rough times, I run to English for comfort. She understands me in a way that Sociology never will, and since I'm not married to her, our relationship causes little to no stress in my life. Everything comes so much more naturally with English.

I don't know what to do; I love English, and want to be with her, but it is so much simpler to maintain the status quo. I'm not sure I want to rock the boat, and I don't think that Sociology suspects a thing. But isn't that even worse? I'm not doing right by Sociology or English: lying to Sociology, and not admitting my true love of English. I feel so guilty, knowing that no matter what I do, I can't have both ease and happiness.

If I switch to English now, it will mean another year of school, another year of tuition. If I stay with Sociology, I'll have to deal with getting a degree in something that I don't really like as much as I thought I would when I declared my major. Should I be happy with finishing school as quickly as possible, with a Sociology degree and minor in English, or should I switch them around, getting an English degree that takes longer but is more fulfilling, and minoring in Sociology? Any advice is welcome.

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