Monday, July 17, 2006

Neither of us drinks coffee, either

As I get ready to leave after a longish shift at work, my Mexican coworker (who is also a male model, I found out this morning) walks up to me all eager-looking.

Him: "You're not leaving, are you Violasaint?"
Me: "Yes, I'm tired and want to go home and relax."
Him: "You're sure you want to go? You could stay and we could sip coffee and talk about white brotherhood!"
Me: "I'm not sure that would work on any kind of level..."
Him: "Why? Just because you're a girl and I'm Mexican?"
Me: "Pretty much."

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ah, but do you care what I refrained from getting for dessert?

After spending the past few days at the Grand Canyon, I feel the need to share some of my observations with you, the internet.

-It may not occur to you, but the Grand Canyon is in fact, a big hole in the ground in the middle of the desert. If you stand on the edge and take pictures of it all day, you will end up sunburnt. If you wear pigtails while taking pictures all day, you will end up with a sunburnt scalp which will flake off over the next few days in a painful and ugly way.

-It is nearly impossible to take an interesting picture of the canyon, because every angle you can get of it has already been gotten a million times before by Japanese people in tour buses. Your only hope is to get a really great sunset or lightning shot, because the sunset and lightning are the only things about the canyon that actually change.

-When the hotel boasts "modern rooms with vaulted ceilings," it means the roof does come to a very obtuse point, and you get a TV, two lamps and a bathroom. Modern!

-The fact that there are exactly three restaurants in the actual park leads the Bright Angel Lodge to believe it is safe in naming a dessert "Warm Apple Grunt." I know that my favorite dessert is the Tepid Blueberry Howl, not to mention the delights of the Cool Watermelon Snort.

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Mourning a Great Loss

I got my oil changed today. Back here, in the land of crappy service and aggressive oil change guys who try to get you to buy fifteen extra services beyond a simple oil change. This is one more reason why I miss Parts Unknown- they have a wonderful little chain that gives you an oil change (and ONLY an oil change) in ten minutes. Cheer and lemonade are distributed freely, and you don't even have to get out of your car. Ten minutes!

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

I feel so patriotic

What better way to celebrate your country's independance than by eating hot dogs and getting rained on as you listen to an overture by Shostakovich? While wearing your Communist Party shirt?

It was actually slightly more interesting this year because not only did we have fireworks to watch, but in between we could watch lightning, nature's original fireworks. As always, the Sousa marches were excellent and crowd-pleasing. The Fourth of July is the only redeeming feature of that stupid park with no swings.