Monday, October 23, 2006

Weekend Update

The past two days have been amazing, as a certain friend of mine from Parts Unknown flew down to my state, and we had a really great time. Really great. So very fun, but also a little tiring, as I had to drive back and forth between home and another city twice in two days, plus it's just exhausting to have so much fun.

Oh yeah, and you know how I wore my skirt backwards to the job interview? I got the job, yo. I start today, working as an office assistant. I've been told that my first task is going to be shredding a giant stack of old papers.


Tuesday, October 17, 2006


I had a job interview today. To get the full effect of the day, we will have to backtrack to this morning, when I was asking Uffish what I should wear. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: What should I wear to my interview today?
Uffish: A nice shirt and a nice skirt.
Me: (whining) But I ride my bike to school. How on earth can I get around this insurmountable obstacle?
Uffish: Um, suck it up and take a skirt with you in your backpack? (Or, you could just go naked. Whatever.)
Me: Oh, that'd probably work.

I went about my morning, getting dressed, finding a nice skirt and nice shirt (I even ironed them!), switching my backpack stuff from my normal backpack to my messenger bag so I wouldn't get back sweat all over my nice ironed shirt while riding my bike.

I went to my class, and enjoyed the hour and fifteen minute lecture on why Westerners create monsters that are mixes of people and animals (think werewolves. Or Superman) while Easterners create monsters that are their own things (think dragons and Digimon). It has to do with society (surprise! It's a sociology class), and reincarnation.

After class I went into the bathroom and laughed at myself because we had just been talking about Superman and here I was in the bathroom stall changing clothes. I reapplied makeup and straightened everything so I'd be presentable, then walked across campus with my bike over to the building where the interview was. I went inside, had a fairly nerve-wracking interview (four people interviewing me at the same time! For a stupid office job!) that I think I did alright on (?), thanked the nice ladies, and left. I went into a nearby building to switch back into Clark Kent, strode (strided?) into the handicapped stall where there's a big full-length mirror, reached down and....

Gasp! Where did the zipper on my skirt go? It's disappeared! Oh wait, phew, it's right here in the back.

Gasp. The zipper was in the back. The skirt was made to have the zipper in the front. It must have gradually turned around as I was walking across campus with that stupid messenger bag on my hip. I had sat through an entire interview with my Skirt. On. Backwards.

This is why I shouldn't ever think that my day is going alright, because I'm really walking around with my skirt backwards without even knowing it. Think of all the other things I never realize that are quietly working against me and making me look a fool. I shouldn't even get out of bed in the morning. I should just lie there, twentyfour hours a day, contemplating my complete moronity.

Really, I'm not that worried about it. As my roommate said, perhaps the potential employers will remember me better because of it: "I really liked that girl with the backwards skirt- she seemed really on the ball. It shows that she's very focused."

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

It was a 94%, thankyouverymuch

Oh, what better way to top off a day when you've been whistled at by construction workers, gotten an A on a hard-to-get-an-A-on test, won a volleyball game, and gotten a good workout at the gym? And also ate a lovely punkin-chocolate chip muffin? I'll tell you how to top off such a day.

Go to the Bleat and read Lileks' inspired words: Maw! Git the Scotch-Brite! I done sneezed while barfin' and shot off a mess a' groiny hairs!

I'm still laughing. I'm glad my roommate didn't question why I suddenly burst out into laughter, because I would have had to tell her that I was imagining, well, never mind what I was imagining. But it was darn funny.

It even hailed on us!

Not much to say tonight, except for that I'm still alive, and also that I'm not on speaking terms with the garbage disposal.

Our modem got fried a few nights ago in a big exciting storm, which turns out to have been a good thing. Because I needed to use the internet in order to finish some homework assignments, I was forced to awake in the morning, get dressed, and ride over to school a few hours early yesterday and today to work on school computers. I got a lot of work done, and life felt more relaxed, sitting around at school with no pressing concerns like getting to class. After computing for an hour or so yesterday, I moseyed over to the student union and got myself some cheap pasta (with "vegan meat sauce"! yum!) and ate while reading through one of my textbooks. I sat there for a good half hour or 45 minutes, reading, eating cheap pasta, and watching it rain outside.

The internet repairman came today. He gave us a new modem and our internet works at home again. Which is nice, and very convenient. But I think maybe I'll try to keep going to school earlier and just hanging out a little bit. It's nicer that way.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Deep Thoughts

Can somebody please tell me why I am compelled to close and lock every door to the outside of the house (knob and deadbolt), plus the door to my bedroom, plus the door to the bathroom inside my bedroom, every single time I go to the bathroom when nobody's home? I can sit here in the living room with the front door hanging open for hours, just waiting to be shot or chloroformed by the roving gangs of hoodlums* on our streets, but if I'm going to be further away from the front door for two minutes, I have to secure our home.

I blame you, Mom. I still love you, though.

*there are no hoodlums. The only people I ever see on our street are either old people or friends coming to visit us.

National Treasure: like the Italian Job, only with Masons instead of Mafia!

I did something good for myself yesterday! Thank you, thank you. Flowers and monetary donations will be gladly accepted.

But seriously, I went to the rec center on campus for the first time ever last night, and I worked out for about forty minutes, then sat and watched some friends playing racquetball. Now that I know about this place, and I know when racquetball happens, I think I shall be going more often.

I'm sure you're all wondering how I came to gather enough momentum to get myself to a place I'd never been to before. Well, I'll tell you: this past few weeks have been full of papers to write and exams to study for, as well as videos to make and volleyball to play. Last night I celebrated the end of that push by realizing that I didn't have anything I needed to be doing, and I balked at the idea of just sitting around the house all night doing nothing. Thus, the rec center and blessed physical activity.

Other things of note:
-I started watching National Treasure last night with a couple of roommates and friends, and I've realized that I must be really annoying to watch movies with. If I've seen the movie before, I feel the need to recite everybody's lines along with them, while if it's a movie I've never seen, I give a running commentary of all my thoughts: "No! Don't get in the truck!" "Oh, gee. They're getting gunpowder all over the place. I totally can't see what's going to happen next." "Come on! You can't just roll up the Declaration of Independence like that- it's almost two hundred and fifty years old! It'd crackle and turn to dust if you even looked at it wrong!"

-I had some weird dreams last night. They involved me 1) killing a lot of bugs, 2) throwing a jar of sunflower seeds at a tri-fold science project poster so my academic paper could be published in a national periodical, 3) purchasing $3 worth of gum with my credit card and shouting "I don't have a job!" at the clerk, and 4) being chased around the docks of some eastern seaboard Costco by an entity that was alternately some Egyptian guy, Martha Stewart, and that creepy girl from The Grudge, you know, the one that makes that clicking noise and crawls toward Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Apparently I had learned of some sinister plot while strolling past one of the ships, and was trying to get to the Costco manager's office to tell him before I was killed.

-One more thing before I go: if only all websites were this clear. (Via Mimi Smartypants)

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Good Vibrations

It's October, and guess how much I'm excited about that? Very much.

I'm excited that it's going to be cooler soon and I'll be less sweaty in class after riding my bike to school.

I'm excited that I've made it through so much of this semester so far, and I'm doing much better gradewise than I was this time last year.

I'm excited because my sister liked the birthday presents I gave her, and because my roommate also had a good birthday, with lots of people in our living room.

I'm excited because I learned of a possibility of camping on the mountain this weekend (or next?), and even though I had a bad experience this past weekend, I still want to go (this time I will bring benadryl and two kinds of eye drops and lots of kleenex with me).

I'm also excited because in a few weeks, I'm going to pick up my friend at the airport and show her around my fair city and let her see what October without coats is like.

I'm excited for winter to start, even though it's far away, because winter means end of school and Christmas and wearing a scarf maybe.

I'm excited because I'm going an hour or two north in a few months to see a basketball game with like fifty of my closest friends and even though it's far away I look forward to such a fun way to celebrate the end of finals.

I'm excited because after writing a two page response and taking an exam tomorrow, I'll be relatively schoolwork free for a week or two.

I'm excited for my good friend Uffish, for the fun things happening in her part of the world right now.

I'm excited because I really like living in this house with these roommates and being able to ride my bike to school. I was a little worried about moving in with one of them to begin with, but my fears have proven unfounded and she's become a good friend.

I'm excited because I bought some socks today and they're really fun.

I'm excited that I found this many things I'm excited for, because a lot of the time I think about the things I dread instead.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Saturday is a Special Day

I've been strangely productive today, and I'm feeling good about myself, so I thought I'd let you all know that. I think I'll start at right now, and work my way back.

Right now, it's nearing 2am and my fingers are covered in shreds of picked-at krazy glue that I've been trying to get off for the past two hours. I am tired, and happy.

Around midnight, I finished my art project, heaved a sigh of relief, and loaded and ran the dishwasher. Moxious! Also, Productive!

At 9:30, our friend Dave (I call him Dave because that's his name) left, and my two roommates (The Desirable One and her sister, The Quebecer) went off to dye each other's hair, while I baked the cupcakes and worked on my art project.

At eight-ish, The Desirable One got home from work, and we three decided to set off in search of groceries. As we opened the door to leave the house, we ran into our friend Dave, who had come to pay us a visit. We all went shopping together and had a grand time, and found cake mixes for like 82 cents each at walmart. We decided to make cupcakes to eat during the potluck lunch in between sessions of conference tomorrow.

From perhaps 3:30 to eight-ish, The Quebecer and I worked on cleaning the house. I cleaned my bathroom, the chinchilla cage, and the fan in my bedroom, while she cleaned pretty much the rest of the entire house. She's much more industrious than I. I also planned out a four page paper that's due on Monday which I should have mentioned typing up after loading the dishwasher. In other words, I'm all done with that assignment and ready to print of it and turn it in.

1:00-3:00: The Quebecer and I went back to the House of Excellent Food, and watched the second session of General Conference. I was completely awake this time, and I paid attention and took notes and thought that all of the talks were marvelous. There were freshly made giant chocolate chip cookies halfway through the session. They were delicious.

11:30-12:20: I laid my benadrylly carcass on my bed and slept like a log. Like a log that's at the bottom of a lake, covered in slime and moss.

We started the day, first of all, with me not being able to open my eye. It was glued shut with disgusting rubber cement that appeared out of nowhere during the night sometime. This provided great start to the day, getting that one part of "I am the Walrus" stuck in my head: "yellow matter custard/ dripping from a dead dog's eye...." We went to the House of Excellent Food, where live three or four young men of my roommates' acquaintance who invited us over for pre-conference breakfast. The breakfast, which happened at an ungodly 8 in the morning on a saturday, included lovely omelet something, fruit salad, and Stuffed French Toast. This is some sort of ambrosial mixture of bread, caramel, cinnamon, apples and cream cheese, layered in a casserole dish, and served to very lucky people. We watched the first session of General Conference on their big screen tv. Well, *they* all watched the first session. I pretty much was un-awake for those two hours, being in a benadryl-induced haze of drowsiness (I had taken a couple of pills when I woke up, in an effort to make my face look like normal).

Yesterday evening: There was a supposedly Totally Awesome Activity happening on the mountain which I wanted to go to, but all of my roommates were either out of town or had other plans, so I harrassed my resume-writing friend to give me a ride. We got to the site of the activity, and it wasn't quite as thrilling as expected. We played capture the flag, and I "guarded" our flag. In other words, I sat in the dark under a tree for a long time while nobody came, and gradually developed some nasty-itchy eyes from allergies. The allergic eyes continued after the game ended and we stood around the campfire, talking. Before I go on, let me suggest to you that you go and watch Hitch, because if you do, I won't have to explain what happened next.

You didn't watch the movie, did you? Sigh. Ok. So, we get into the car to go back down the mountain, and my resume-writing friend sees in the light of the car that my eye has swollen up to the size of something that's not eye-sized, but much bigger. And we're not talking just like the skin surrounding the eye area, but the actual eyeball. He suggested that it might explode, and maybe we should stop by the store and get some benadryl. I concurred. So we went into the store and the patrons stopped in their tracks and gaped at my hideousness as we walked to the pharmacy section. We got a bottle of liquid children's benadryl, as well as a bottle of normal benadryl pills. I looked down as we checked out, so the cashier wouldn't run away in fear. When we got back out to the car, he tossed me the bottle of liquid and directed me to chug about half of it, which I did. It tasted nasty. Then he drove me home, where I sat up and waited for my roommates to come home so they could put allergy drops in my eye, because I was too scared to do it myself. By the time they got home and put the drops in my eye, I was succumbing to the benadryl's drowsy-making power, and I had a precarious climb to the top bunk where my deliciously soft and welcoming pillow awaited me.