Saturday, March 27, 2004


i would have thought that sleeping for 13 hours straight would make me happier, but now i just feel depressed and sluggish, cause i already wasted half the day without knowing it. when i waste time, i want to enjoy every minute of it, intentionally. oh well. too late now. i've got some thinking i need to do for school, deciding what to write for two papers in different classes, but i don't really feel like doing that now. don't feel like watching tv, sleeping, or doing anything else, either. i decree that today will be a blah day. so let it be written, so shall it be done.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

dooby dooby doo... not the most eventful day. school was alright, except for the class that we always come out of wanting to shoot ourselves. i swear, either he goes into the most boring lectures, stating the same thing over and over again for 50 minutes, or he shows us a movie that gives such a depressing, grim outlook on the world that we become suicidal. today's movie: evil superbacteria that grow and spread in hospitals, that are completely immune to antibiotics! yay! we're all going to die, and if we go to the hospital, it'll just speed up the process! what fun! i enjoy this class so! if it wasn't for the fact that it has no tests, finals, or papers, i'd certainly have dropped it. it's just that, a class where you get the full points as long as you answer ten stupid questions over email each week is too good of a GPA opportunity to let go, no matter how depressing it is. bought some pants at old navy during lunch (mens' loose jeans look like women's jeans when you put them on me, and they're the only ones that make me look good without making me claustrophobic, so yay!). went to work to pick up a paycheck, then hopped over to the bank to quickly deposit my past three checks before going back to work. i got to close with grant tonight, which was nice. we kept on talking about stuff, religion, science, literature... for not having gone to college, he sure is educated. so the night was physically exhausting and intellectually stimulating, which was nice. apparently he's been reading the BofM i gave him, or at least looking at the pictures, cause he was commenting on how ripped mormon and moroni were- hehe, he said that they looked just like this one wrestler on tv. i don't know who he's talking about, but it's funny nonetheless :). anyway, it was a pretty good night overall. however, it was really tiring- for a while at work i became hysterical and couldn't stop laughing. chris accidentally dropped the frying basket on my hand and i just started giggling and couldn't stop for a long time. that made chris and grant laugh, so we all had a good time. but i really am tired, and now i really will go to bed, now that it's 3 in the morning.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

sunday night i made some discoveries i didn't want to. it really upset me, so all today i kept on bursting into tears, to my humiliation. i took krista's advice and got help (thanks krista- your suggestion helped). the situation isn't fixed, and i fear it'll be a long time before it's fixed and happy, but now the wheels are in motion. i guess some of it wasn't even news to some people, and that really hurts me that they would know and not tell me. so while i was sitting in the hallway crying, chase came over and sat next to me and gave me a kleenex. he was really sweet, mixing comfort with humorous distraction and sitting with me for like 45 minutes till i had the opportunity to get help. i really appreciated that, and i hope i see him on wednesday so i can thank him in some way. besides my drama, school was pretty uneventful. i felt weak and pukey all day, cause i think i was in shock- i was so nauseated i couldn't eat anything till like 8 in the evening, so i didn't eat anything for much longer than i should have, which made me feel even weaker and empty inside. work was also pretty uneventful, and helped to take my mind off of things. i talked to grant a bunch about religion and trials and keeping a positive outlook, and that was helpful too. interestingly enough, he didn't know pretty much anything about what i was unhappy about. he just started talking about all that stuff on his own, and it was pretty relevant. i think both he and chase were inspired in what they said to me today, each initiated conversation, saying just the right things for me at the time they were talking to me, without any knowledge of the situation. i guess heavenly father really is watching over me and guiding myself and others. unfortunately, grant only worked till 10. it would have been nice to close with him. i think i need to go to sleep now, cause i've been up for about 22 hours straight, and i didn't sleep very well or very long last night.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

whee! my first post! this sure has been an interesting week. i went hiking, went to work as usual, went to my very first concert, and started a blog! plus i finally had a break from school, which was nice. the concert i went to, since i'm sure you're all dying to know what it was, was Flogging Molly. i'd never really listened to them before, but my sister was going, and i decided to have fun during this, my first college spring break. so we went and i had a blast. afterwards, i decided i really liked their music, bought a shirt, and got matt hensley and dennis casey to sign it :). what was even better was that my story of it being my first concert interested dennis! we talked for a little bit, and he hugged me and thanked me for coming! fun fun... so today i went cd shopping with my sister, and i bought their cds, and i've been listening to them every since. man they're good! i'd better go now, cause i do have to go to church in the morning, and it's 2:30 now. hopefully i'll remember to keep this blog alive, and have enough fun experiences to keep it interesting for anyone who happens upon it :). goodnight for now!