Tuesday, March 23, 2004
sunday night i made some discoveries i didn't want to. it really upset me, so all today i kept on bursting into tears, to my humiliation. i took krista's advice and got help (thanks krista- your suggestion helped). the situation isn't fixed, and i fear it'll be a long time before it's fixed and happy, but now the wheels are in motion. i guess some of it wasn't even news to some people, and that really hurts me that they would know and not tell me. so while i was sitting in the hallway crying, chase came over and sat next to me and gave me a kleenex. he was really sweet, mixing comfort with humorous distraction and sitting with me for like 45 minutes till i had the opportunity to get help. i really appreciated that, and i hope i see him on wednesday so i can thank him in some way. besides my drama, school was pretty uneventful. i felt weak and pukey all day, cause i think i was in shock- i was so nauseated i couldn't eat anything till like 8 in the evening, so i didn't eat anything for much longer than i should have, which made me feel even weaker and empty inside. work was also pretty uneventful, and helped to take my mind off of things. i talked to grant a bunch about religion and trials and keeping a positive outlook, and that was helpful too. interestingly enough, he didn't know pretty much anything about what i was unhappy about. he just started talking about all that stuff on his own, and it was pretty relevant. i think both he and chase were inspired in what they said to me today, each initiated conversation, saying just the right things for me at the time they were talking to me, without any knowledge of the situation. i guess heavenly father really is watching over me and guiding myself and others. unfortunately, grant only worked till 10. it would have been nice to close with him. i think i need to go to sleep now, cause i've been up for about 22 hours straight, and i didn't sleep very well or very long last night.
said ViolaSaint at 2:27 AM