i hate having a cold

it started out simply enough; on thursday evening i started feeling my voice not working immediately, like a pump that you have to prime before water comes out. i'd have to say a few words before you could actually hear them. the next day, more of the voice stuff with some phlegm gathering in my throat, followed by some light sniffing. saturday i ran around in the rain and cold for several hours. i'd been planning this day for months, and some rain and illness were NOT going to ruin it. well. they didn't ruin the day, but they made the evening and today pretty bad. i'm now in full-blown-carry-the-kleenex-with-you-wherever-you-go-so-you-can-leave-snowdrifts-of-wadded-up-tissues-everywhere cold. i felt pretty weak and fainty today, so i stayed home from church and sat under a blanket reading for most of the day. i've got school tomorrow that cannot be missed. whatever. no big deal. however, i'm also scheduled to work from 5-10. back to the whole moral issue: is it worse to go to work with a cold, possibly infecting my coworkers and our customers (hey, we ARE fast food, for heaven's sake) and making myself miserable, or to stay home, leave my coworkers short one person, and not make any money? plus, because i took saturday off to run around all day in the rain, i'll be skipping out on an entire week's worth of work (i did schedule myself off on saturday- i'm talking about my usual week), and i have to take off next monday, since i have a final from 8-10. what moron, i ask, would schedule a final to go till ten at night? that is possibly the worst time to expect college students to remember all they've learned throughout the semester. nighttime is NOT the time for me to be speaking a foreign language. my speaking skills even in my own language are markedly worse anytime after 8:30, as seen by the amazing trouble i had in writing this sentence, and still having it come out wrong. this post is rapidly developing into a rant, so i think i'd better go to sleep and hope i magically get well again so i don't have to worry about going to work sick.

i'm wearing a ski mask right now. it squishes my nose so i can't breathe well.

i love my italian class. it's fun. i believe i've told you before of the Romeo/Ophelia/Hamlet/Juliet love... rectangle.... but i love my class for two other reasons. 1) my teacher is originally from germany. she often slips when doing numbers or really obscure words. as i've also taken german, i notice it when she does it, and i inwardly laugh. 2) my teacher also has a funny way of speaking english. she uses the word "gunna" ALL THE TIME. as in. "i gunna get some lunch", "we gunna read this chapter", "you gunna answer the questions", "she gunna write it on the board". oh yeah, and my very favorite: "what's the weather gunna like?" i spose it just comes from the way it's phrased in her language(s), and the fact that NO ONE likes to conjugate things in anything other than their native language. that is all. i gunna go to bed.

My hands smell like restaurant soap and limes

Hey, Internet! Long time, no see! How's everything been going? Seen any good movies? Neh, me neither. Hmm? Yeah, not much. Wrote a paper, went to classes, took some tests, the usual. So I'd really love to stay and chat, but I was just on my way out... yeah, I know. We should have lunch sometime and talk about the good old days. Yeah, I'm pretty busy too. But we should really get together sometime and catch up... I'll give you a call... yeah, see you around!

random attractive italian!

Tiziano Cucchiarelli may just be my favorite actor-that's-only-been-in-one-movie-and-it-wasn't-really-that-big-of-a-part-either. And of all two of the italian movies i've seen, i like Pane e Tulipani the best. Life is Beautiful is just way too depressing. Look for Nic's transformation at the very end of the movie. A change for the better? I think that's a resounding Yes! The whole movie is just the greatest thing ever. I like it so much, i think i'll rent it and watch it again, so's to pay better attention than i could in italian class.

in the computer lab

at my school, we have an underground giant sea of computers. right now is the first time i've ever looked at my site from a computer other than home, and it gives me a little shiver of "wow. my words can be accessed from anywhere." but i have two little observations from where i sit. first, it kind of smells like a Penguin's, for some reason. second, about 1/6 of the computers here are macs. there's like these tiers, or landings, in the lab, so it's like a big staircase. the top landing is the one full of macs. i think that says something. something like, macs are superior. or perhaps something like macs are weird and need to be segregated so's not to infect the other computers with their appleness. however, i like that we're segregated. in the morning, when everyone on campus is trying to check their email and there's a line of people waiting on each tier, i know that i can always walk straight to the top and find an empty mac. because stupid people are afraid of them and don't know how to use them. i am of the priviledged class that can use either a mac or an ibm or a dell or whatever. but i try to use the apples whenever i can, because they're just so much easier, and i feel like i belong here. whenever i'm too tired to walk up all the stairs to get to the mac area, and i settle for a dell, i can't relax and enjoy myself, because i feel like an outsider. i think i've rambled on for too long, and the things i'm saying aren't all that interesting, so i'll leave you with these parting words: apples are good. especially when they smell like frozen yogurt.

overheard conversation

guy: "yeah... mick jagger and steven tyler have been technically dead like four times each"
girl: "i know! their hearts stopped and everything"
guy: "and you know that if someone else, like if i tried to do that, i'd just die"
girl: "tried to do what? wear a woman's scarf?"
girl: "wearing women's scarves actually gave steven tyler a heart attack"
guy: "yeah, it couldn't have been all the drugs and alcohol"

cake mix

I love it when I come across some old cd that I haven't listened to in a long time. Like years. This summer, I went to a play (in Hollywood, while visitng relatives) where the intermission music was an album I had almost forgotten I have. Hush, by Bobby McFerrin and YoYo Ma. It's so great. Once we got back home, I went and found the cd, and stuck it into my computer so I can listen to it any time I want to. Lately, I stole a few cd's from my sister, and I realized that I really DO like Cake, and they're actually a lot better and more fun than I first thought. I made a compilation cd of my favorite Cake songs, and what better name than Cake Mix? Informative, simple, and something I just have to laugh at every time I see it. I think maybe I should hide a few of my favorite albums, so I can find them later and enjoy them again.

sad songs and waltzes

you know what's just the crappiest? when you have a great day, do homework early in the afternoon, go to two different social events, have tons of fun, then get in your car and start crying. and you cry for like a half hour straight while driving home. yeah, that's totally the crappiest.

hey HEY!

the evidence of my very THIRD reader! excitement galore. But I thought I'd inform you of my future job, as predicted by this site: Fluffy Bunny Trainer. Ohhhh yeahhhhh... so cool. Now what was I really meaning to say? Did I already tell you about the whole travel journal idea? Yes? Well, I haven't used it yet. I'm thinking it'll have to wait till after this semester ends, when I'll have more time, and I'll be changing my work schedule anyway. Oh. I remember what I was going to say. I burned a bunch of cd's from Isabel the other day. MY Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits that she stole from me, 3 Cake cd's, and, er, the Eagles of Death Metal. And I'm really enjoying Pressure Chief (Cake's latest album, I think). Especially the End of The Movie. It's so cute with the banjo and all. I like timid-sounding songs by artists that aren't usually timid. They always make me happy. Like If I Ever Leave this World Alive by Flogging Molly, or Blackbird or Mother Nature's Son by the Beatles. Sweet little songs are nice. Like sitting inside in a sweater and fuzzy socks and watching it raining outside.

parlo italiano, e tu?

So I'm taking Italian 101. I am obviously as good as fluent already, no? Anyway, we do a lot of group work (writing dialogues, etc), and my usual group is fun. We did an exercise awhile ago where we had to write letters of advice to lovelorn kids, whose names were "Romeo" and "Ophelia." Hmmm, we thought, suspicious. And their stories were oddly Shakesperian. So we wrote each telling them to dump their crazy significant other, and hook up with this cool guy/girl we know named romeo/ophelia who's also breaking up with their SO. Since then, any dialogue, any story about a picture, is a continuation of the Hamlet/Ophelia/Juliet/Romeo love tri...rectangle.... It's been very fun, leading to some hilarious stories. Like Hamlet being a barista and poisoning Romeo's coffee because he stole Ophelia from him. Anyway. today's dialogue was almost about Giulietta, but we decided against it. Instead, it was just us. We went to a restaurant, and our check had the wrong stuff on it. We complained to the waiter, got free dessert out of it, but still didn't leave a tip. Poor waiter. It was more fun than I'm making it sound right now, but I think the humor would be lost in translation (read: I'm too lazy to write down the whole conversation). Io capisco paroli italiani. Capiscete, o non capiscete? Io vado al camera di letto, perche ho sonno, e voglio dormire. Buonasera!

don't read anything into this

Girl in my singles ward today: "i hope nobody reads anything into this, but i've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately, and how great mothers are..."

My actual post: i read several liberal-type blogs, etc, and it seems like there's been an eerie silence since tuesday. NOTHING has been updated. no new posts, no new flash animations to watch. nothing. i'm neither here nor there on the issue; i just noticed, and wanted to point it out.

i need to stretch

I went to Borders today. I hate that store. It's so... common. Take Barnes and Noble, take out all the pleasant, atmosphere-inducing furniture, make it less friendly, put a bunch of creepy old people (not nice old people), and replace anything that might be useful with crappy best sellers and mass produced teeny-bopper address books, and you've got Borders. Although I don't drink coffee, I'd bet that their cafe is crappier, too. So while I was looking through the postcard/ stationary set area, i came across a box of postcards labeled "Going Places." The pictures were awful, but behind it there was a matching book. The book was pretty interesting- it had a section for 'where I'm going/what to see/how I'm getting there', one for 'pre-trip budget/how much I actually spend per day/ etc', and then places for notes and journal type stuff. The way it's set up, though, makes it useful for exactly one trip. Want to go somewhere else? Gotta buy another one for another $15. But. After I had looked through it, and stuck it back on the shelf, I thought to myself, too bad I'm not going places. I'm not even going place. So I walked away from that book and went and bought an overpriced "leather-look" empty journal. I know, that's so Tolkien-fan-like of me. I actually bought it because it had a little flap on the right hand side with a magnet in it so the book stays closed, and because the paper had a nice feel to it. I could really do without the leathery look and plasticky texture. Anyway, back to my narrative. I'm going to clean out my car so there isn't any trash in it. I'm going to put the book somewhere where it'll be really noticable so i see it every day, and it reproaches me. I'm going to change my work schedule so I don't work Saturdays. I'm going to be a good student and do my homework during the week so I'll be free weekends and not feel guilty. I'm going to start small. Day trips. Afternoon trips, even. Just to make my life a little more interesting. After doing this for a semester, Stacey (my well meaning, but empty-headed car) and I will be ready to make a real road trip during the summer. Drive all over, do a Twine Tour. Hopefully Krista will come, too. Or Lauren. Or maybe I'll make a new friend between now and then. Or maybe I'll buy a dog. The point is, I'm tired of driving down the same street every day, seeing the same line of businesses followed by the same line of houses, and then driving back the other way a few hours later. Everything in my life is too familiar, and I want to see something different. So there. Go watch Breaking Away. That was the other thing I thought when I saw the book. "But I'm not going anywhere." "Oh, I'm not so sure about that..."

Holy Moly!

I actually did homework today! I worked on two separate projects, writing about two pages for each, and neither of them are actually due tomorrow! Maybe I've gotten over my procrastination problem. Or maybe I had five hours between my last class and volleyball tonight, and didn't feel like going home. Yeah, I think it was the second one. But still! Go me. Now to reward myself by ignoring all work for a week. Because we learned in sociology today that if a person isn't rewarded according to what they believe they should be rewarded, productivity is lowered, and you end up doing less work than even before. But perhaps I should study for that pesky italian exam tomorrow... nah. Too much work. Did any of my 1 (one) readers pick up on my decision to use capital I's? We'll see how long that holds up.

oh- and I'm still annoyed that Myst IV won't install onto my computer. Stupid Ubisoft.

ouch

hail hurts. it's especially annoying when the five minutes you pick to walk from class to class are the same (and only) five minutes the sky decides to shoot ice at you. i mean, seriously, after i entered the building and sat down in class, i looked out the window and there weren't even any clouds. it went from STORM! to sunny in five minutes.

the internet knows my name

okay. thanks to cookies or IP addresses or whatever, when i go to certain websites, the page calls me by name. this is okay when it's a site i use often, when i'm on my own computer. but i have had two odd experiences concerning the internet calling me names. Amusing Anecdote #1: i took a year's worth of PE during one summer a few years ago, mainly because i hate getting myself all sweaty during the middle of the day, and i have an aversion to bathing in front of people. so. during this summer school, we went to the computer lab a couple of times to type stuff up, and since i'm a superstudent (ok, not really), i got done early. so i decided to check my email. typed in the address of my email provider, and the page came up greeting me by my name. how in the world does the internet know it's me? i wondered. i still don't know, but i assume i'd checked my email earlier on that same computer some other day, and it just remembered me. creepy, nonetheless. Anecdote 2: i just followed a link from lileks' site that led to an error screen from expedia (old bookmark). no biggie. but as my eyes followed the cursor up to the "back" button, i came across two words, slightly bolder than the rest of the page: "Welcome, Melville." my name is not melville. i never use expedia. why is the internet calling me melville? because my dad (who isn't named melville either) once used expedia to purchase plane tickets for my uncle. i never knew that uncle wes isn't really uncle wes, but uncle melville. i guess you learn something new every day.

yarrgh

ok. so i haven't posted in a while. so sue me. i'd just like to say that i'm only posting now because i somehow woke up too late to get to my only important morning class, so i'm staying home this morning, and going to school for just my italian class this afternoon, cause italian is so cool. so now i've got a bunch of free time that i can write in, but i probably won't say much. anyway, after complaining to my friend that her college (read: within the university, not a different univ.) was way more friendly and active than mine, i got an email announcing the sociology picnic. yay and hoorah! i shall go. and maybe they'll have tshirts like my friend's college picnic had. one can only hope...

and on a completely different note, i woke up this morning not able to move my neck for fear of EXTREME PAIN, and my shoulder's kinda achy, too. i guess when one plays volleyball after a year of nonactivity, one should start out slow. but it was fun, and i'm going to keep going each week. hopefully after a while it won't torture my body to do it.

there's the rub:

the guy i dreamed about marrying is a real guy. he goes to my church, and is the older brother of one of my friends. he is also already married to a girl that was very nice to me in high school. creepiness of creepinesses.

to sleep, perchance to dream

i've been having some really oddly themed dreams lately, and it's getting a bit disturbing. the theme of several of my dreams of late has been this: marriage. i am not married. i am not engaged. i am not even in a relationship. but for some reason, i've been dreaming about being married, and i'm getting a little freaked out. they're not particularly nice dreams, either. i had one last night that i agreed to marry some guy that i barely even knew, and that it was the day of the wedding. i was frantically trying to get ready, trying to find someone to do my hair, and freaking out because i hadn't bought a dress yet. and during all this franticness, i realized that i didn't even know this guy, much less love him. but i had already agreed to do it, and i was running around in some wedding dress that i somehow got at the last minute, trying to figure out how to keep myself from making this mistake while at the same time not being horrible to the guy by breaking it off on the day of the wedding. i eventually decided that since he was of my faith, and since he was generally spoken highly of, i should just marry him. my dream ended just as we got to our new home. i awoke all sweaty and upset, thinking, "how could i mess up my life like that, take such a big step in life without even dating him first, getting to know him, seeing if i was even attracted to him?!" i was stressed all today, still feeling that i had totally messed up my life, and not realizing that this horrible feeling was due to the dream, which SO DIDN'T HAPPEN. i still feel shaky just thinking about the dream. it was stressful and disturbing and upsetting. all this about something that's supposed to be such a great and wonderful thing. i don't want to dream about marriage again.

my neighborhood

here's a little story to give you an idea of the type of people living in my neighborhood:

about two weeks ago, i went to check the mail (we have those annoying group mailboxes, like a little extension of the post office sitting on the sidewalk). i noticed that on top of the mail structure, there was a rather nice pair of glasses. i went to get the mail the next day, and they were still there, untouched. day after, still there. and so it went for about a week. then one day, they were gone from the mailbox. i thought, wow, it sure took a long time for some kid to finally steal them. but no! on the way back home, i saw that they had only been moved to the top of the corner house's brick wall. and so they've been for a week now. my neighborhood is dead.

blueprints

the building that my major department's offices are in intrigues me. doesn't look like anything much from the outside, a hundred years old, maybe, but... brick, and, you know, a building. four corners, a couple of stories, big old front doors. it's no Winchester House, BUT. it has just enough staircases, in just enough slightly unexpected places, in just enough nonstandard sizes and directions, to make me want to spend the rest of my life walking around in it. this building is cool enough for me to major in sociology even if i wasn't interested in the subject. i wonder if i ask them if i can see the blueprints if they would call the police. it's that fun. if i ever have the opportunity to build my own house, it'd have staircases in the same vein as this building. the hallways are tiny (except for when they're huge), and when you make three righthand turns in quick sucession and open the door you're faced with, you're totally surprised to see a staircase there. how did they fit it in such a small space? i thought i was already on the top floor? and why is there another staircase directly across the tiny hall? truly great. total lack of respect for regularity, symmetry, and general laws of physics. i think most architects would agree that whoever designed this building should be shot, but i hope i can talk to him before that, so he can design my house.