Tuesday, October 18, 2005

If you look in the mirror, it's your father's face

I can't seem to remember what made the weekend so fun. I guess just being out there, bonding with people who are so different from me, yet so much the same. Being semi-camping, in the cold (oh, the bitter cold, that mocked me for leaving my mittens and jacket at home), kind of uncomfortable and dirty. I love that feeling. I enjoy things so much more when they're not perfectly right. A smelly cabin with no sheets on the bed and a picnic table outside with freezing rain and wind is so much more cozy and appealing to me than a lush, warm, hotel would be. It's more fun to go canoeing in the rain without a coat, and then get so sandy and wet that you need to take a shower in a horrible stall that's about a foot squared in area, passing the soap between three stalls. I made new friends this weekend. I realized that some of the people that I feared before are actually not so bad as they previously seemed. They just needed to be in a less formal situation for them to become friendly and real people. I was so tired the day after we got back, really exhausted, although I can't really think what I did to make me so tired. But it's fun to have a good time with new friends, and start the week tired. I've spent too many weekends doing nothing and starting the next monday tired from nothing, or even worse, not tired. The activity broke up the monotony of mid-semester langour that hangs on you for weeks on end. And today, I feel almost refreshed! I even took a midterm today, and I think I did okay on it. I feel justified in sitting around tonight, playing on the internet, talking to friends I haven't spoken with in awhile. Maybe I'll watch a movie tonight. Maybe I'll just go to be early. Maybe I'll eat cookies and listen to music while I knit. The thing is, I'd be happy with any of those options. Usually I just want to sit around doing nothing for hours on end, until it's two in the morning and I'm dissatisfied with myself and the world. Tonight I will do something to make myself happy.

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