Typical Email Exchange with an old Coworker and Friend

RICHARD to ME

I was chit chatting with some female friends of mine, and I was explaining to them how someone rates on my "radar" (yeah, single people do silly things like that in case some of you have forgotten). After some more chatting, I somehow came away with agreeing to make a super cool excel spreadsheet that they could fill out while rating a certain guy (or it could go the other way if a guy wanted to use the spreadsheet. A much better version of the stuff like at eharmony.com). So my request to you peoples is: would you mind throwing out some things that matter when looking for someone to date/marry? I know, most of you have been married so long that you could have grandkids by now. Anything at all. i would prefer to just let the mind loose and come up with 100 things each. Okay, maybe not that many but no reason to hold back.

I will be dividing these topics into four categories, examples below: 

 

Physical Attractiveness-height
-body shape
-smile

Spiritual Attractiveness
-supports activities
-does his home teaching
-reads scriptures everyday

Personality Attractiveness
-similar hobbies
-respect for not killing sharks
-does not have annoying laugh

Shows Interest Attractiveness
-laughs at my jokes
-makes an effort to say hi to me
-remembers things that we talk about

 

Let me know if you need any clarification. Remember, the more cool topics the better I look to these girls...and maybe I will sell the silly thing to the Utah dating coach.

 

Go to town!

 

Thanks,

Richard

ME to RICHARD

Richard, what a great diversion from work for my lunch break! Here we go:

 

Physical Attractiveness:

 - good hands. This could mean a) strong , b) orderly fingernails, c) evenly calloused or d) prominent knuckles. No short fingers. I don't know why this is important, but it is.

 - stands like a man, and not a wimp. This doesn't necessarily mean perfect posture, just being comfortable with who he is.

 - his smile makes other people happy.

 - deepish voices are always good.

 - his body, and the way he uses it, lets you know that he would not die if you left him alone in the forest for a week.

 

Spiritual Attractiveness:

 - you know that he does have a spiritual side because it comes up in conversation in a non-awkward way.

 - not patronising.

 - magnifies his callings.

 

Personality Attractiveness:

 - CAPABLE: is able to physically, intellectually, and emotionally navigate situations he hasn't necessarily experienced before. He can figure out how to find a job, how to go snowshoeing, how to find his way to Pittsburgh, how to give a eulogy for a pet rat, how to make meatballs out of tofurkey. He doesn't have to do it perfectly the first time, but he does have to do it without being guided. This is by far the most important thing on this list.

 - has his own interests and hobbies.

 - not afraid to have a differing opinion than others, but also isn't combative about it.

 - likes to involve others in his interests and activities.

 - likes to learn new things.

 - confident in, but realistic about, his abilities.

 

Shows Interest Attractiveness:

 - he is excited to see me.

 - he smiles at me.

 - he asks me out.

 - he looks for ways that we can be together, and makes it happen.

 

 

That was kind of fun. Hope my input helps:)

RICHARD to ME

yeah, I have always thought thinking about people you want to date is fun, perhaps it is feminine, but I deep down think everyone likes it.

 

I remember when Roommate 1, Roommate 2 and I used to sit around talking about the girls we liked. Random conversation that really did not amount to anything, but still fun. Roommate 3 and Roommate 4 (Ed. Note: both now married) really never got into that. I would almost think that would be an indicator...but Roommate 1 is trying to break that mold.

 

I do appreciate all the insight. It is hard to think as others, and I wanted this master list to compile a range of thoughts and ideas. It is really not going to be complicated, simply the weight you want the topic to have times the values you givea  person, and presto! a rating from 1-100. I think someone needs to be in the 80% or above for a relationship to take form. But I also think that is not hard to happen when you like someone (the ever popular X factor.). But since it is my list, I get to break it down to the four categories since I feel they are all important. I know some people have already said stuff like "look don't matter since it is the lasting qualities that matter when you are old and wrinkled". Important, but it is easy for them to say since they are married.

 

Thanks again,

Richard

 

Thoughts I had during tonight's show

Why do there have to be so many people here?

Hurrah, we got here just in time for the band to come on!

I sure hope S. likes this, considering how much he just shelled out for a ticket without knowing who the band even is.

I hope my big silly grin isn't freaking him out. The spectacle and the music is just too much!

No, wait, NOW it is just too much.

Looks like S. is enjoying himself. Whew!

Wait, wait, wait, is that guy really playing the keyboard, or is he faking it? Shoot, it's fake.

Wait, it's real.

Fake?

I guess it doesn't matter. It still sounds good.

I like their footwork, with the bouncing from side to side like happy little kids.

EVERY band should have a standing cellist. Awesome.

Wait, they know Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms? Awesome again!

With a disco ball? Inspired!

Silly grin just keeps getting bigger. I hope there isn't cilantro in my teeth or anything.

Why are they leaving?

Wait, why aren't they coming back on stage? The power of expectant applause is failing us! Quick, we need more applause!

Oh good, they're back!

That was good.

That was really good.

I may not be able to sleep tonight that was so good.

Why do there have to be so many people here?

Maybe you don't need to know this

Last night I had this secretly awesome dream in which some jerk of a girl* did something selfish (she waited for me to go to great lengths setting something up [a trampoline!], then got up on it and used it before I had a chance to) and I got TOTALLY PISSED and yelled shouted bellowed** at her, this extended string of angry vitriol until I was hoarse and unable to speak anymore.

I woke up feeling incredibly satisfied and powerful, then wondered if I should start shouting people down for little things more often. Perhaps I would be happier?


* no recognizable face, which is interesting considering the number of people whose faces my conscious self put in there after I woke up.

** like the horn of a huge cruise ship, or no! like the horn of Helm Hammerhand!

I'm just skipping over March completely. What has March ever done for me, anyway?

Here are some things that I've wished I could say to various roommates, past and present:

Grow up!

Could you please clean up after your margarita parties? I hate the sticky pink stuff all over everything the next morning.

Maybe wash the dishes once in a while.

Please wash the dishes a little less often.

Learn to live within your means!

You could do so much better than that guy.

How come *I* can't have that guy?

You know what your problem is? You don't care as much about other people as you do about yourself.

I hate your freaking soap operas. No one really acts like that.

Seriously, the way you leave hair all over the bathroom floor makes me late to work because I'm obsessive compulsive about where I put my wet feet after a shower. How hard is it to clean up your own damn hair?

I am NOT your mother.

You are not my mother.

Why can't you think more like I think?

Please never try to fry chicken wings again. I like my apartments not burnt down.

I love you.