Thursday, January 14, 2010

I want some cheese with my whine

Really? Am I really (really) that disconnected from every other human being? I'd say from all the other human beings on the face of the planet, but you have to account for those guys up in the space station, too.

When you wanted quiet and focus in the office, I wanted to fidget with anything, with everything, on your desk.

When you wanted to go out for mid-afternoon ice cream all I wanted to do was work on the project and get it done already.

When you were driving home from work with your fiance I was sitting in my office weeping ugly tears alone.

When you were talking about the Rain Man I wanted to talk about Fahrenheit 451, but I didn't.

When you were talking about autism and social cues and stemming I wanted to bring up Oprah neurons, but I didn't.

When you wanted to sing that Celine Dion/Barbara Streisand duet I wanted to bray like a donkey, and then maybe sing an Irish drinking song instead.

When you brought up the Age of Innocence I almost told you about A Room With a View and Where Angels Fear to Tread, but you changed the subject too fast.

When you were talking about your sweet husband and your sweet son and your exciting pregnancy all I could think about was how you smelled like hair products and how I never smell like that and how maybe you always smell that way. Maybe all normal women smell that way and that's maybe why I'm not married with a son and a pregnancy of my own, is because the men can smell that my hair isn't styled and therefore my hair (and the rest of me, by default) is unmarriageable.

How can everyone else in the world just live their lives like normal when I alone am so put upon? How?

2 comments:

canofjam said...

At least you don't have some disgusting contagious disease that others won't tell you about...

What are Oprah neurons?

PS--I don't necessarily connect with those ladies myself (neither does the "other" single one)...

ViolaSaint said...

For more on the oprah neurons, try starting at the source of all good things on the internet: http://kottke.org/09/07/im-pretty-sure-i-had-neurons-devoted-to-this-guy