Thursday, January 25, 2007

Things It's Maybe Not OK to do at Work?

Eat a chewy bagel that must be ripped apart with the teeth, at the front desk

Spread cream cheese with the index finger

Stare blankly at blond freshman when she asks a dumb question, inwardly stick a pin in the freshman voodoo doll

Hope the staff meeting lasts longer than expected in order to thwart students wanting to see their advisors

Realize that thwarting students would really only create more problems, scratch that last one

Watch the phone ring a few times before answering in order to avoid the appearance of eagerness/ lack of more important things to do

Take unattractively large bites of bagel because no one is watching

Write about it on my blog


Anonymous said...

Take Jane Austen action figure to work and place on front desk. When patron makes stupid request, move action figure's head from side to side, saying, "Jane doesn't want me to do that".
If patron has indicated recognizing whom action figure represents, substitute, "Jane wants me excessively not to do that".

Anonymous said...

jerking janes quill-holding arm in a "slasher" type action, while gritting your own teeth:

MustacheBoy said...

Build a small shrine to a lesser-known Nordic deity on your desk. When asked, reply that as cold as it's been this season, you're pretty sure that Fimbulwinter is upon us and that Ragnarok is nigh; if you get on the gods' good sides now, you might make it to one of the better afterlifes. When they look at you funny, ask "What, have you never read the Edda?"

This is not something to learn the hard way. Trust me.