Monday, November 2, 2009

Existential Crisis, or How I am a Creature of Habit

I ran out of laundry detergent last week, and bought a different brand to replace it because the store I was at didn't have my usual. I did the wash last night and wore the freshly washed clothes for the first time today. This leads me to ask: Who am I? Am I not who I thought I was? What is my purpose in life? WHY DO I SMELL LIKE THIS?

I really felt incredibly awkward today as I walked around, seemingly in somebody else's aura, as if I kept on walking into rooms and sitting down in chairs just after some unknown phantom vacated the spot. I've been glancing over my shoulder all day, worried that whoever it was would come back in unexpectedly and demand to know what I was doing there before swaggering down the hall in the office, cursing loudly at the air. Although I suppose I should be glad that this didn't happen, I feel like it might have been somewhat cathartic and would have lent some sort of validation to the tenseness that I've felt all day.

Similar anguish of character has been triggered when I changed deodorants, styles of underwear, shampoos (that was a big one- I'm still not quite over it) and grocery stores.

3 comments:

canofjam said...

Did you ever try the natural deodorant? I can't remember. I love the smell of lemongrass in the morning...

ViolaSaint said...

I did. It made my armpits smell like Fruit Loops for the first half of the day, and then they smelled like armpits for the other half. Because I don't want my armpits to smell like armpits, I've switched back.

Becky Blunt said...

I'm dying laughing. So you finally used up the jug we bought? I have a similar problem, and I have to switch slowly and talk myself through it. You need to read Living With Intensity. I'll give it to you once I'm through being supposed to read it.