New Year's Resolution, or something

I resolve never ever to have a party with married couple friends and single friends at the same time. Why? Because married people suck, that's why. Or maybe just newlyweds suck. All I know is, if I have to sit through another evening of watching five couples vie for attention by loudly and playfully arguing with each other about some inside joke, I'm just going to have to rip the skin off of my face. People! Get a hold of yourselves! No one cares (really, NO ONE) whether you think your husband is weird because he knows what religion Madonna practices. "Kabbalah? How did you even know that? You're a real freak. I don't even know why I married you. Hey everybody, isn't he weird? Everybody?"